The View From Here

I’ve been back in a place of my own for three months now. It is so nice to have a place that is mine – where the things are mine and the choices and the messes and the books are all mine. Where alone time is always an option and sleeping in a matter of course.

I wake to a view of UW and birds on my deck eating the seed/bribes I’ve put out. There’s a drawbridge nearby that blasts a foghorn when it’s going to lift – sometimes waking me, sometimes drawing me to the window to see what’s coming through. Dozens of bird species in the air and in the water, and all manner of water-craft, including the occasional float plane or floating hot tub.

I’m back at a real job – a thing I thought maybe I’d never have again. But it’s not as painful as I imagined it would be. I’m actually enjoying it – that is the most surprising part, really. I got everything I wished for – challenging work that stretches my capabilities, good compensation, good people to work with, a casual office atmosphere with a bit of flex in the schedule that allows for a slow morning, and two blocks from home.

You would think it would be hard to go back to all of this, having abandoned it for life on the road. But the truth is that it’s all too easy to fall back into the groove you’ve lived in for most of your life. It takes very little effort to live like you always did, to live like everyone around you.

You get up and do what you did yesterday, how hard is that? Wondering where you’ll be next week and how you’ll get there? That is difficult and often exhausting, even while being amazing and awesome. Who would have guessed that a regular job would be restful?!

But I’m definitely not the same person I was two years ago, in that wonderful office in Portland. And there’s no chance I’ll decide that I just want to stay here forever. A regular schedule has always been something I hated, and that hasn’t changed. Lately I’ve been changing it up by working more, not less, which is at least a new twist.

But I still yearn for turquoise oceans and tropical breezes on a daily basis. And the lack of time to travel is annoying, though the regular cash flow is a welcome change.

I’ve gotten lucky and already had visits (both intentional and ‘hey, I’m in Seattle for work, let’s do dinner’) from five people I adore, and more on the way in the next few weeks. My bank accounts are back in the black and savings starting to build again. I’m going to Alaska this June for my class reunion and other visits (hello, child of my loins).

Life is good.

But don’t imagine I’ve given up on adventure.